Week 37 -- Some Happenings and Unboxings

So this post will cover some of the happenings that occurred in the last couple of months, but weren't big enough for separate posts.

First things first...

Except the Lisa part.

What mismatched candles?

I have reached week 37, just as I turned 37. Just a humorous observation. My pregnancy app is comparing my baby to a striped skunk.

Not the cutest comparison. What's up with that, app? Although, I do like it better than the food comparisons. Honeydew melon? Really? My child is not in ball form. At least, I don't think she is. Maybe all those books, videos, and classes are lying to me. Like I don't feel unprepared enough.

Speaking of not being prepared....

I keep going over in my head about the item I need. For example, diapering. What essentials do I really need? Sure, diapers and wipes. But what else is recommended? I feel so dumb. I haven't spent a lot of time around babies. Not that reflects how good of a parent one will be. But nevertheless, sometimes I feel like I missed out on picking up tips and basic knowledge from real world experience.

So, I have a good case of anxiety going. Can I admit to that? Or does that make me a bad mom already? I understand that no matter what, there is a learning curve. How does one not freak out?

But, let's move on from me contemplating failure....

Skip back to May where J2 and I took a Childbirth Prep class. During the last class, the instructor showed a video of an unmedicated labor from start to finish. At the end, J2 turned to me and said, "that's looks awful." Haha! Sounds like someone is glad he doesn't have to give birth. Of course, he is entirely supportive of whatever method I want to do. We also got a nice diploma and a blanket. J2 said I probably didn't need another blanket since I have two sources to obtain all the blankets I could ever want. I told him we paid for it, so I'm taking one.

My blanket.

J2 doesn't get birth plans, either. When talking about them, he asked me: "isn't the whole point just to have the baby?" I agreed with him. Having preferences is one thing, but I am under no delusion that birth is kind of a crap shoot. 100% preparedness is a fantasy. Sure, there is something to be said about the experience of pregnancy and labor, but it really is a means to an end. We've waited and been through plenty that we now just want the final product. You might be questioning what J2 got out of the class. He knows how to time my contractions and when to take me to the hospital. That's a good job for him. Oh, yeah. We are prepped.

What other happenings are going on?

First, the crib. While we received the crib from someone J2 once worked with, it was not the color I preferred. However, I could not turn my nose up at a very nice and free crib. It's not offer that comes along for me. Enter the handy husband. So we took it and J2 stained it for me. Came out great.

I love it That is all.

Next, when making a baby registry, many places will send you a gift upon completion. That means you have to go through every category and put a corresponding item on it. I did this with a site called Babylist and Amazon. Here I unbox the Bbabylist box....

Babylist.com

Stuff!

Burt's Bee burp cloth

Pampers

Cetaphil samples

Registry cards.

Sun hat from Iplay.

Not sure.

Not bad. Seems pretty close to a standard gift box. Nice to see more samples and not just coupons.

Lastly, I also received the Welcome Box from Amazon. Come along for the unboxing....

Amazon Welcome Box

The Opening...

Stuff!

Pampers. This seems like a common insert.

Cute onsie.

It's a size 3-6 months. Nice it's not a NB.

Binkies.

Cleaning wipes.

Wipes.

Nice bathing samples.

Bottle, 4 oz.

Muslin Swaddle.

Can I say wow? I know it's Amazon and they should have some good connections, but still, they really did make the worthwhile. Actually samples of things you will probably use. I know I will. Amazon did not cheap out on this box. Yay for freebies! Amazon also gives you 15% off baby registry items (sold by Amazon, only 2 transaction with a total of $2,000) starting 60 before your due date. This helped get me the stroller I wanted.

I also did a registry for Target and Buy Buy Baby, but never picked up the gifts for them. Perhaps I should. Why can't they deliver?

That sums up a few things I've been meaning to post. A more personal update: I am 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced as of last Monday. I just figure I'm in a holding pattern. I am also on twice a day Heparin shots. Super fun being awoken at 6ish in the morning.

Milestone: 36 Weeks

Well, two days shy of 36 weeks, if you need to be that technical.  Some people just need to be so precise. Well, quit it--I'm the pregnant one here. Haha!

Since my appointment was today, my doctor considered it close enough. And what does that mean? And why is it such a big deal? To answer the first question: I had my cerclage removed. Want to know how it feels? Don't care, still going to tell you. First, that comfortable(sarcasm font goes here) little device known as a speculum is inserted. Then, with some long tong-like grippers, my doctor found the knot she made at 12 weeks and clipped it. I felt some tugging and pressure. Definitely uncomfortable. Maybe even a twinge of pain from the speculum. In all, it probably took two minutes.

The answer to the second question is one you might have guessed. Not only have I (and baby girl) made it this far, but I'm also considered full term. As J2 and I are saying: we have between 0 and 4 weeks.

Honestly, we don't feel 100% ready. We've spent all these months going week to week--and now--BAM! She's almost here. The pressure of choosing a name. The panic of not feeling like you have the stuff you need. The weight of all of it now is pressing down on us. How do you not freak out? Inner anxiety head monologue now complete.

After the removal, my doctor checked me and I am dilated 2cm. This doesn't mean impending labor in the next day or two. But with that being said, my doctor also doesn't believe I will make it to August. Place your bets now.

Next week, we check to see if baby is head down. If I make it that far. Dun, dun, dun!

Getting ready for a new phase

Week 27 and I’m just about to enter the third trimester. Baby Julandy is now the size of a Fennec fox.

Source

Getting bigger every week. I still can’t fathom that I really am this far. Do I get to be this happy?

So as she is still gestating, J² and I signed up for a childbirth preparation class. We had our first class last Thursday. This one focused on the third trimester and what is happening/going to happen. It also covered warning symptoms and when to seek help. Some good information.

During the class, the fathers(because that’s all that was there) got to wear a fake pregnancy belly. One guy had a lot of fun with it. He was quite the character. This is me and J² for our turn.

Who wore it better?

Nice bump you have there.

Yikes. I look….let’s just say there is a beach missing it’s whale. I’m thinking no to those maternity pictures. The vest thing was a little big on J². He said the belly rested on his legs and noted that he doesn’t believe that is how it really works. Smart man. I told him I could jab him in the abdomen every so often. You know, for realism.

Speaking of jabs to the gut……

Can I talk about fetal movement for a minute? Is it a pretty incredible experience? Yes, it really is and I am grateful for each roundhouse kick(I’m assuming this is what she is doing). But…...it is still kind of weird. Promise--not whining. I just think it’s a twofold phenomenon. Amazing with a dash of freaky. It is a unique occurrence when it’s your first pregnancy(to make it this far). As she gets bigger, her movements becomes more distinguishable and in the interim the sporadic jabs are a little startling. And there are some sharp ones which can make me pause. I’ve felt most of them at the very top right or very bottom left. What does that mean? Is it common to feel movement in similar areas? I have no answer for this, but am curious.

Because, Chuck Norris

So, yes, it is sort of odd to have a life form moving inside you. I will admit it. Just because I’ve fought so hard for this, doesn’t eliminate all the good, the bad, and the WTF is going on in there of pregnancy. I’ve seen plenty of stories of woman who have undergone fertility treatments that have been told in not so many words that because they wanted to get pregnant they can’t voice their stuggles. Wanting something and striving to get it doesn’t make the hardships vanish. Because if this is the gr0und rule then I never want to hear another college student complain about finals again. Just sayin’…..

It’s just that my body is changing in order to grow a baby in me. And as soon as I adjust to one change, another pops up. And like many infertile woman and loss moms, I’ve struggled to really focused on actually HAVING the baby. For me, I allowed myself to breath slightly at 24 weeks. Since then, I’ve slowly been trying to plan for the future.

We just got a crib! A pretty big milestone for us.

Oh, and another big deal--J² actually told someone that we are expecting. Completely voluntary without it being connected to a doctor’s appointment. If you know him, you know it’s a big step.

Now, instead of just being anxious about the pregnancy, I am now anxious about being ready for when this baby girl arrives.

A major milestone

As of today, I am 24 weeks. This is a big moment for me and J². First, we have never made it this far before. And second, we have technical viability. I know it’s not a guarantee of anything, but it’s a step in the right direction. And baby girl is the size the an Atlantic Puffin.

Source

Aww, cute.

Because of my front-facing placenta, I haven’t felt too much in ways of movement. Now I don’t know what kind of freakish butterflies other women have, but I get more of a popcorn popping feeling. I saw someone describe it as that and I have to agree. Little pops here and there. I can’t wait to feel more. In fact, tonight J² informed me that he felt a kick last night. I love that he can feel connected to the pregnancy.

This milestone also gave me the confidence to give my leave date at work. A long as this pregnancy continues to go smoothly, my final day at work will be June 29^th.

I feel like I can start thinking about my baby shower, buying the larger baby items, looking at getting the nursery together. I even bought maternity clothes.

Next appointment is in about a week and a half. Hopefully, my doctor will do an ultrasound.

20 Week Ultrasound. and a Preggo Complaint

On Monday, we went to have The Ultrasound. Meaning the 20 week anatomy scan. Counting all the fingers and toes. Checking the organs. Making sure everything looks normal. And that also means…..

Yes. Half way! This is a very big deal for us. I’ve never been this far along. It’s surreal. I say that because it’s hard to reconcile my anxiety with being this happy. Like I’m not allowed to be too excited or something bad will happen. So don’t take my seemingly disinterest as disappointment.

Moving on from my head space, we start off the appointment like any other. Making sure there’s a heartbeat. Yes, there is. And sigh of relief. The whole thing takes about an hour. The tech takes measurements, pictures, and details all organs. After that, the Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor comes in and discusses what was observed. He said all organs appeared normal. Measurements were on target. Even my cervix was holding up with the cerclage.

There she is-- looking good.

The doctor starting talking to us about the progesterone I was taking for preterm labor. He said at a recent conference he went to that the rate of preterm labor hasn’t really declined as much as they thought it would. Even with the use of progesterone. The reason why has to do with the fact there are multiple reason why a woman goes into preterm labor and the shots may only help a couple of those. It just goes to show you how much and often science and medicine can change.

Of course, I’m still going to keep doing the shots. And I should say, he wasn’t trying to discourage us, just giving us information.

And now I want to make a pregnancy related complaint. I can deal with every other symptom, but there is one that may drive me crazy.

Yep, restless leg syndrome. Whether napping or sleeping at night, my legs will twitch. It’s an uncontrollable impulse. And I can’t sleep. It may cause me to have a breakdown. There doesn’t seem to be anything that helps.

So baby girl looks fine and I’ll never fully sleep again. Sounds about right.

Valentine’s Day

Once upon a time…..we waited 3 hours to just be seated at Red Lobster and decided we will no longer torture ourselves and peaced out of Valentine’s Day. So no, this won’t be a post about my super romantic Wednesday. And besides, J² doesn’t do romance. He will remodel the entire house(kitchen in progress), take care of my car, and accept any and all hormonal craziness and infertility(and now pregnancy) requirements and restrictions. But buy flowers…...hahahahaha! And that’s okay. I’ve never once believed the true love comes from cards or candy. It’s all about being there. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Trust and compatibility play a big role, also.

The Hallmark of a great relationship.

Nope, this is a nice little post about getting a romantic shot in the ass. I mean that literally. And yes, I am using literally correctly. J² and I went to the OB office so a nurse could train us on the proper technique to do my progesterone shots. This is an intramuscular injection.

Brown baggies, not just or liquor anymore.

Yes, as long as my finger!

The brown baggie is to protect the mixture from light.

The nurse taught J² how to find the right location, insert the needle, check for blood, and inject the fluid. After she walk us through the steps, she actually had J² perform the injection. Guess what????? It didn’t hurt at all. I didn’t even realize he had the needle in until I heard him asking how to check for blood.

I hope it goes this smooth every time. As I’ve mentioned before, this once weekly injection should help discourage preterm labor. 16 weeks and counting.

I forgot to mention in my previous post that I found I have an anterior placenta. Which means the placenta is forward facing (between my stomach and baby). The downside to this is that I won;t be able to fell her move until a little later. Knowing this, I won’t be getting a Doppler (a little portable device that can pick up a baby’s heartbeat in utero. With the anterior placenta it is difficult to find the heartbeat. I don’t need that stress. So I’ll just impatiently wait for my appointments. These are pretty normal feelings for those of us who have suffered through infertility and loss. If we don’t seem neurotic, it’s because we’re hiding it.

Happy Wednesday to all you single and married and other people!

Surgery Follow-up (13 weeks, 6 days)

About a week and a half passed my surgery, J² and I went in on Monday for our post surgery follow-up. The cerclage looks fine and is so far doing its job. I may get anxious starting around 17 weeks. But I’m trying to have confidence. I’m not very good at positive mantras. For my little girl, I’ll give it a shot. Well, I would say I’m giving it lots of shots. Haha! See what I did there.

Back to the appointment. I also had another ultrasound (like I would leave that office without one). Here are some pictures…..

Heartbeart

Baby girl!

Look at that face!

Look at that face. Yes, kind of alien, but still the cutest. Heartbeat looks super. I tear up just a little

the moment I hear those first beats. Every time I see her is the best time. She was quite that day and not squirmy.

Besides that, we discussed a couple things with the doctor. I can stop taking Metformin for now. That’s a nice break. We will be doing weekly progesterone shots for preterm labor (not covered by insurance) starting at 16 weeks. J² and I will have a training session and decide If he will do it or a nurse.

It might be a repeat, but it's true.

I also got the all clear to have my hair done again. Yes, I waited because I don’t want to jinx myself. I am weird. And just want this to end in giving birth to a healthy baby.