Surgery Day - Cerclage

On Wednesday, J² nudged me to semi-consciousness at 5:30 a.m. That’s a real time, right? People actually wake up before the sun rises? Like, that’s a thing, right? So I stumbled out of bed, tossed on some comfortable clothes and we headed for the hospital. We checked in to the labor and delivery ward. It was very quite at 6:30 in the morning. We were taken to our room which didn’t bring up the fondest memories. The last time we were here it was not a happy moment. This time is for a better reason, and one that should help me get to the moment I really want.

I slipped into the fashionable hospital gown. The nurse, Barbara, started an IV. It was interesting because she put it in on the side of my forearm. Usually they haven’t been able to get an IV in my forearm because they say I’m too “vavle-y.” Better than in my hand. I felt like I could move. Barbara went and retrieved a Doppler to check the baby. At this time, my doctor arrived to touch base with us. After both her and the nurse tried and failed to hear the heartbeat (although they heard the cord), my doctor went and got an ultrasound machine. She stated that it is difficult to hear anything with a Doppler at 12 weeks. Not like I was having a mini freak out or anything. The logic part of my brain was telling me that it was too early; the pessimistic anxious side was……..

Internally, of course.

I think you get the point. The ultrasound (praise Dr. Ian Donald and Tom Brown) showed my squiggly little worm doing just fine. See? Nothing to worry about. Who’s panicking?

A little while later I was wheeled back to the OR. I got up on the table and they had me sit up and towards the back of the table. Since I was nervous about the epidural, Barbara talked me through what the anesthesiologist was going to do. I curled around a pillow and the anesthesiologist rubbed iodine on my back. Next, the nurse said I would feel something akin to a bee sting. The longest bee sting of my life. It lasted for a few seconds. To me, this was the worst part of the whole thing. Then came some pressure from the threading of the catheter and cramp like feeling when the medication was first injected. After that my legs started to tingle. I was scooted down to the other end of the table where my legs were lifted into stirrups. As the nurses were prepping, my doctor spoke with me. She asked if I could feel anything. I said that my legs were tingling (as if they fell asleep). She touched my leg and then pinched my arm and told me that’s what she did to my leg. I did not feel the pinch. So I could feel touch and hot and cold, but not pain. When the catheter was inserted, the nurses said if the epidural wasn’t working I would have definitely felt it.

I was always under the impression that an epidural completely numbed everything. More of an assumption. So it seemed odd that I could still move my feet. Now, I do think they can numb it more, but there is no reason if you’re not in pain. Bonus, first time I didn’t feel the speculum.

The procedure itself took about 10 minutes. My little girl was all tied in.

Essentially

Back to the room I was wheeled with J² waiting for me. I spent the next three hours waiting for the anesthesia to wear off. Another ultrasound was done and she was still moving all about. Finally, around 11:30 a.m. my catheter and IV were removed. I was then able to get up to make sure I was okay to stand and walk. I received the all clear and was discharged.

I really thought I was going to be in more pain. Besides a little cramping (which was expected) and my back being slightly bruised (since I’m on blood thinners) I’ve been fine. Overall, I’m pleased I did it. I feel a little more secure in this pregnancy.  

Week 12(ish) Check-up

Today, we went in for a second check-up with my OB. I’m a day shy of 12 weeks. It’s been a very long month waiting for this next ultrasound. Even though there has been no indication of anything being wrong, I still held my breath when she pressed the transducer to my abdomen. In the past, my track record with ultrasound have been hit and miss. I’ve gotten the best news. I’ve gotten the worst new possible. This time was all good news. BIG sigh of relief.

There she is. In all her fuzzy ultrasound glory. Heart rate is just fine. Seems to be measuring right on track. It’s been over two years since I’ve been this far along. Hurray for the little victories. Of course, I don’t consider myself out of the woods until I can hold her (very much alive) in my arms.

The other purpose of this visit was to discuss putting in a preemptive cerclage. This type of cerclage is placed after 12 weeks gestation to help prevent the cervix from opening and starting preterm labor. Because this seemed to be the reason my second pregnancy failed, we decided this is the best answer to my problem. So I am scheduled for tomorrow morning (bright and freaking early) to have this surgery. I’m a little nervous, but I do believe it is the right action to take.

My doctor also talked to us about starting weekly progesterone shots at 16 weeks. It appears some studies are finding that these shots, from 16 weeks to 37 weeks, help prevent preterm labor in women who have experienced it before. This is only for singleton pregnancies. While we are leaning towards doing the shots, I’m going to mull it over for a bit. So much pressure to make all the right decisions knowing if anything goes wrong I’ll always blame myself.

For this visit I did the glucose test.

Doesn’t that look yummy. If you like things that are so ghastly sweet that it burns when you swallow it. And I failed. But looking at my results online it says that I’m within the normal range, even if it’s the tail end. Give a girl a break! So they want me to do the three hour test. I’ll probably talk to my doctor tomorrow.

So here we are – – 12 weeks and counting. I can’t wait until I get that bump and can feel her move.

2017 – A Year In Review

I’m sitting here, relaxing on my couch (as is my custom for the time being) and reflecting on what 2017 entailed for me in my infertile world. Roller coaster is pretty cliché, but the most accurate way to describe the up and downs and stomach-knotting feelings.

It started off as J² and I were finally able to proceed with fertility treatment once again after the tumultuous 2016 year. My RE wanted to perform a HSG. HSG stands for Hysterosalpingogram. It’s a procedure where a catheter is inserted through the cervix and dye is injected, x-rays are taken to see in the fallopian are opened. For most women, it will be mildly uncomfortable. If your tubes are blocked or if the shape of your cervix makes things like this difficult, you may experience more pain. I took some Ibuprofen and was fine. Many doctors offer Valium, but I didn’t take it. I’ve actually never taken Valium so I am unaware of how it would affect me. My doctor talked me (J² had to wait outside) through the whole thing and it lasted maybe 5 minutes. My doctor was very experienced in this procedure and that helped ease my mind.

My tubes were clear. Add that to the what’s not wrong with me category. So what the hell is wrong with me? It’s the stick that so many infertiles beat themselves with. Of that, I am not an exception.

We decided to try a few more IUIs. I would call at the start of my cycle and we were going to do Femara, FSH injections, and a trigger shot. That was the plan. Anyone else hear Mother Nature laughing?

We took a quick trip to Vegas to relax before being bombarded with hormones.

While there, I found out it was the Year of the Rooster. I was born in the 1981. So that meant it’s was my year, right? 

When we returned home I waited for my cycle. About a week later, I wasn’t feeling well. So I broke down and took a pregnancy test. Guess what? Serious! It was positive! I was pregnant! Without meds. That happens? After 14 years? It was my year! Hear that laughing again?

Well, maybe not laughing.

I won’t go into detail in this post but three week later, having both my RE and OB confirm it (on J²’s birthday no less). We lost this baby, also. I was scheduled for a D&C the following Tuesday (this was on a Friday).

The next couple of months as I waited for my body to return to, well, as normal as it could get, we decided to so some testing. First, J² and I had the karyotype testing done. The results came back as normal. So our chromosomes looked good. Next, I did the Recombine CarrierMap genetic screening. Those results showed that I was not the carrier of any tested disease (they test for over 300 diseases).

We weren’t ready to give up yet. In June we did an IUI. That failed. We had a discussion with our doctor about moving on to IVF. In the meantime, we did another IUI in July. That failed.

So….on to IVF.

I had more blood work done. Another OAR assessment. This showed my AMH had dropped from 9 to 6. Still high though. Because I was straight stimming, meaning I was not taking birth control to suppress my cycle, I had to wait for my cycle to begin. This was the end of August/beginning of September.

Between the egg retrieval and transfer, we took another short vacation to Vegas in October. I finally got to see “o.” It was nice to unwind and have fun and not think about what had happened and what was to come.

In November, the transfer was done. In November, I had a positive beta.

In December, I got to go to my family Christmas party, pregnant. In December, I had my first Christmas, pregnant. I celebrated (or chilled on the couch) New Year’s Eve, pregnant. I called J² my designated drinker.

Overall, 2017 was crazy. And as happy as I am to be carrying one of our embabies, I am also happy that 2017 ended on a better note than the past 3 years.